I look back into those days when i thought differently as a man ignorant of the truth and what i wanted to become going forward in my life. I never wanted to be a preacher or anything to do with something of that sort. I was on my way into doing something that i so valued and thought would add to my identity.
When i ask myself this question about why i am here doing what i am doing ie sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ, there is no other better reason i can come up with except for what lies at the core of my experience when i heard the true Gospel and was introduced to the True God.
The excitement that was of the Good news about God's love and Grace was redefining me as a person , how i thought about myself and my reference to life was changing. It was deep down in my thought life that i was beginning to see everything from another perspective having lost mine own. It was not being applied to parts of my life but to me as a person entirely. This Gospel was spreading through my thoughts rapidly and was redefining the way i saw everything, to the point that i could not be excited with anything else but this.
The Gospel was taking over. I needed no man to push me, approve me any more. Before i knew i was out sharing this message with a passion like it was my own. I was amazed at how we could all have missed it, knowing how good God is. I saw myself understanding everything through a filter of Grace and love. I saw how our beliefs were established in something that was completely different than the true understanding that i had received. I began to wonder how man could live out of any other understanding than that of God's. I had realized that the whole world was on one side agreeing with their opinions and i was on this other side with another opinion on everything. In short it was crazy.
Later as i went on to grow in this understanding i saw myself taking a beating in prayer meetings and church gatherings. I was getting hurt more that i was being edified. The misrepresentation of who God was was being preached in the name of God and it was beginning to get rough with me. I had to go through a mental battle of pushing myself to sit through the services because it was supposed to be so. It was not long before i was out of this whole circuit of similar minded gatherings in which i saw no point in being part of.
On the other side my weekdays were getting more exciting with the gospel. I was being comforted by God. The message of the cross became my eyes. Now i was eager without intending to to share this with the folks i knew. I would somehow begin a talk and bring it right to the point of the Gospel and then i wouldn't know time going by. I still had so much to say. It was not a choice i was making to share this excitement that could not be contained. It over came me and i followed. I had began to tap into the same source the apostles were drawing from. Christ, and his work had started to make more sense to me. I was addicted. I was termed as a preacher everywhere i went more than i had realized it. Grace had made me a preacher in peoples eyes. It wasnt a choice i had made, never worked on it.
